As you lead me deeper still.

Hey friends!

I know it's been a little while, but I wanted to share!

Most of you who know me know that I just got done with a very challenging semester. This past semester was challenging for an array of reasons, but it wasn't a bad semester, just hard.

It was hard because God was taking me, chiseling away my rough edges-- He is still in the process of ripping out my heart and replacing it with a Jesus shaped heart. This process is not finished yet, but I am in the process. I am one step closer than I was a semester ago, a week ago, a day ago. I can say this now because I am not in the middle of the ripping and chiseling-- I unfortunately get caught up in the middle during this process and I can lose sight and forget my blessings (He is also working on this with me).

Last night we had a worship service and while I was sitting with my building team, we were speaking about what the Lord has been showing us and how He has been working in our lives. When we were about to enter into prayer together the music in the background changed to "Oceans" by Hillsong United. I have always loved the song and I have always deeply felt the pull to ask the Lord to lead me where my trust is without borders (I have mentioned this is a previous post, click here to view it).

And then it hit me.

When I had received the RA position I was excited and I prayed to let Him use me for His glory and to let the Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders in my RA journey (and really just in my life in general)-- and that is the EXACT place that I was in last semester. Last semester was definitely something that was out of my comfort zone in so many ways. I was in classes that were hard and there were some things that I couldn't plan for, couldn't expect, couldn't be ready with the best fit plan.

The Holy Spirit led me where my trust was without borders. Sometimes I was wading in the discomfort and other times I was treading water just trying to keep my head above water. And it was good. Not easy, but good. I was pushed. I was pulled. Shoved. I was in those places that left me on my knees and in prayer. I was deeper than I wanted to be. I wanted to go back to the shore at times. I didn't have any of my own strength left and I was tired.

But God showed up.

God showed up. He came beside me and let me rest on His shoulder when I started to drown. He let me find my rest in Him. He was ALWAYS there. He never left me. He never said, "Ehh, I think you can do this by yourself," or "Meh, I know I started this work in you, but I am bored now. See ya." No. He showed up. He stayed with me. Because the God who is with us on the mountain tops is the same God who is with us in the depths of the valley. He never leaves.

So last night when I was sitting in prayer it hit me. This semester I asked to be led where my trust was without borders and into the deep. And that is where I was. He led me into the deep. Where I couldn't even begin to think about the borders of my trust. It hurt. It wasn't pleasant. BUT, it was worth it.

The last Sunday that I was at home, we sang "Good Good Father" by Chris Tomlin (Listen here). I enjoyed the song. It spoke to my heart in deep places. There are so many good lyrics in the song-- one of my favorite verses is this: "You're a good good Father. It's who you are, it's who you are, it's who you are. And I am loved by you. It's who I am, it's who I am, it's who I am."

I am back at school for the new semester (I start classes tomorrow). I went to my "college home" church today. And guess what we sang? Yup, you got it. "Good Good Father." This time around, a week later, the song is even better than what it was when I was at home. It spoke to me on an even deeper level. And that is because of what God revealed to me last night-- how I was led into deep waters where my feet could not wander and my trust is without borders. There is a line in "Good Good Father" that says, "As you lead me deeper still." That line repeats three or four times in a row.

And it clicked.

You lead me deeper still.

He is going to lead me deeper still. And He will continue to be there with me in the deep. He will continue to surround me with His LOVE and His JOY. He will continue to lead me deeper still and that not only means where my trust is without borders. It is not just physically. It is more than doing hard things and embracing vulnerability. He is going to lead me deeper still into His love. Into His grace. His Joy. His presence.

So, Lord, here is to the start of a new semester (and a new way of living), as you lead me deeper still.<3