Thursday, June 12, 2014

TABOO: What you should NEVER ask any woman! EVER!

Okay friends, so I have to be real with all of you and that means sharing some things I wish I could forget forever.

Women, what is the worst question someone can ask you besides your weight?

“Oh, you’re pregnant!?! When are you due?” When you are in fact are NOT expecting.

To all the ladies that have been asked this question, I am sorry for bringing up the memories. I know what it feels like to be asked this dreaded question. More than once. And to the ladies that haven’t experienced this, I am glad that you have never been asked this, but please don’t judge the ones who have.

And men, what possesses you to ask such questions? And I apologize to any of the men reading this that wouldn’t even think to ask such a question! You are smart men. Very smart.

When I was first asked this question it was by an older man, who was married and had kids, he came up to me and just asked bluntly, “You’re not pregnant, are you?!” I answered with a quiet no and escaped to the bathroom to take a deep breath and try to figure out what happened. After I returned, this man couldn’t just leave me alone, and had to come find me to apologize, but his apology only made things worse. I still don’t even know his name, and I hope to never see his face again. I got asked the question again when I was working at a convenience store. This one came about because my sister was pregnant at the time, and she also worked at the store. This customer wasn’t a regular, but I recognized his face from seeing him from time to time. He was standing around talking with some regulars about when my sister was due. And he asked me for the exact date knowing she was my sister. I gave him a date and a short while later, he was in my line and I cashed him out. He then said, “I thought only your sister was pregnant?” I ignored him and told him his total. While he was looking through his wallet he asked me when I was due; I stared at him blankly and told him that I wasn’t. He apologized, but I wanted nothing more than for him to be gone. So I quickly handed him his change and asked if I could help the next customer. (Take a deep breath ladies. Your story that may be similar to mine, or completely different, does NOT define you. You are beautiful.)

After each of these cases I had to hold back the tears, and they sent me into a “slump” for the next couple of days. I wasn’t happy with the way I look, and I’m still not thrilled. But I am learning to love me for what I look like right now, and that my worth is not based solely on a few comments, how I look, or a few numbers on a scale.

I don’t tell these stories to ask for sympathy, and PLEASE do not leave any nasty comments below. I tell these stories to let the other ladies know that they are not alone. To tell you that you are BEAUTIFUL. Exactly how you are. Right now. You are not a comment someone has said, and your beauty is beyond compare. I want you to know that you have a purpose that is not defined by a few numbers. You are worth so much more than you could ever know. I want you to know that I love you and that the Heavenly Father loves you. Just the way you are. So go ahead, look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you are beautiful. Right now-- how you are. Tell yourself that you do not need to change to be beautiful!

To the men (or women) that have ever asked this question to someone they did not know was pregnant for sure… oy vey. You should never ever ever EVER ask a woman when she is due if you have not been invited to a baby shower, or until the baby is in her hands. Please think about what you are about to say before you say it, and think about how your words will affect the recipient.

Because not everyone is a size two or four; other women struggle with their weight for a varied number of reasons from stress to hormonal imbalance.

Hang in there ladies! You are amazing and loved and beautiful and you are NOT alone!<3

And please check out the video below:





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